I'm tired.

I'm flat out exhausted.

I'm pissed off to no end, I snap at the drop of a hat, at people who don't even deserve it. I hope that lady at the grocery store is ok.

I can't sleep worth a damn, wake up feeling tired every day. When I do get good sleep, there are no dreams to come of it, to even tell me a direction, an idea, a ****ing inkling as to what to do next. Just enough to rest me to go back at it for the next stretch.

In 9 more work days I'll be free of the hellhole known as Lennox, or as I'm calling it, the place dreams go to die.

Between myself being stressed out, and my 8-month-pregnant wife (great timing I know!), its been nothing but emotional fireworks over here.

I'm about ready to say **** the severance, **** the TAA money, and **** going back to school. Reason being ANYTHING I find to go back for is either not in demand enough, or its a four-year, or whatever else reason there is that I just can't do it. Looking at the job prospects for what I'd like to do, it makes me wonder why the hell I didn't leave this state when I should have. It also makes me realize why people who go to four-year universities here leave the state like their ass is on fire and their head is catching.

There's just this side of nothing f*cking here for them to go into! The job market sucks nuts in this state!

I'm just so damn tired of this, I thought things were going well, and then this gets thrown at me. I've been feeling like it would be fun just to skate down a flight of stairs. Without a skateboard.

I don't know what to make of things anymore, I'm out of incense, out of candles, out of ideas for anything to do, and even all of my comfort foods offer no comfort anymore. I'm so screwed!

Sending some positive vibes your way

Thank you blue, much appreciated!

Talli, if it makes ya feel any better, you aren't alone and it's not just your state. Things will get better...they just have to. Hang in there. Your little bundle will be delivered soon and all your troubles will go out the window. You'll be in awe of your creation.

quote:

Originally posted by Tallicdeth:
I don't know what to make of things anymore, I'm out of incense, out of candles, out of ideas for anything to do, and even all of my comfort foods offer no comfort anymore. I'm so screwed!

Your comfort will be right there in a month I hope you will find a better job and a way to go back to school. Keep looking, ok? The rain can't go on forever.

Seeing that you've been having a rough time lately, here's an 8-step stress reduction technique recommended in the latest psychological texts. The best thing about it is that it really works.

1. Picture yourself near a mountain stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool clean air.

3. Nobody but you knows about this secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "The World."

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The cold water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

8. See! You're smiling already. (Or at least I hope you are!)...

Hope you find this useful.

************

That being said...

Ever hear the saying, "I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet?" Basically, it means as bad as you may have it, there will be someone even worse off than you. You've got a good wife (alright - the hormones are a little jumbled right now, but that will subside soon), a healthy baby on the way...that's really the important thing in life - right there. Family. Love.

I was just texting a friend last night. She told me she'd heard about this ex-co-worker of ours. Busted her arse for YEARS in civil service...divorced, no kids...worked longer than required, to build up a nice little retirement nest egg so she wouldn't have to worry too much and depend on her ex for support (let's just say the split was less than amicable...). She just retired 2 months ago. Last week, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Chin, up, Talli, my good man! Talli-ho, dude! (Sorry, couldn't resist a little dig on the name there...)

Things will get better...they have to.

I'd be more busy with step 7...I'd run out of places to hide the bodies!

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the new one to be here, and glad she's healthy, it just kind of puts a cap on a rough year...maybe decade. At least the last two years have been rather rough.

I have a little better idea of what I can do in my area and still make money, or at least more than I am now. I am going to try to find a degree to be an electrician. Hopefully! Its either that or HVAC.

I was thinking about your thread & where I'm at in my life. I am working as a temp (which is supposed to be temp to hire and my time is running short). I'm pretty sure they are going to hire me. But the funny thing is, if I want the job or not, it doesn't matter, because with the way things are with the economy I don't want to take a chance.

Anyways, I've gone to college and it seems all I did was incur more bills. I'm not saying college isn't good. Don't take that the wrong way, what I'm saying is if you don't know exactly what you want to do, you can end of wasting time & money.

I think I would have been better off going to a technical college and getting some kind of certification. Like if I cut hair, some people make small bucks, but if you do it right you can make really good money. Same thing with the heating & air business (where I'm at now, but I work in the office). Those techs make can some pretty good money. As do delivery drivers with major shipping companies. The good thing about jobs like these are there will remain a business for them. Yes, the economy is slow now, but obviously people still need their heating & air units serviced & replaced.

I hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel & I'm still trying to make up my mind. Hang in there.

hey there - - not from the states though i work with people throughout united states daily, trust me, all of my clients, well 95% are americans so i am frequently updated on the stats of the american economy etc...
so i feel ya on this, it's very sad to hear about it all ... so many people are striving for financial freedoms.. have u thought about starting up your own business?
even on the side?
maybe something to look into while you are going back to school...
maybe there is even somethin you and your lady can start together, she will have a lil one soon, so something she could even start from home could help
thats obviously just one idea from a random stranger
all i can truly say is that it sounds like you and your new small family have much potential, you sound very smart and determined and the fact that you are seekin within without wherever to find your way or the way for your family to me gaurantees eventually something has to click.. from there.. go full force...
congrats on the baby, best wishes to your family
++phoenix