Ok, lemme tell you the sitch.

Wifey and I have been trying to get pregnant for five months. In that time, we have seen 11 people we know get pregnant.

Yes, 11.

Last month, my wife's best friend (further known as Jealous C***) lost her baby, she had been pregnant since October. The loss was felt on both sides of the situation. My wife and I both felt sorrow for her loss, because we knew how much she wanted this. It tore her up.

This last Wednesday, we found out the news we'd been anxiously awaiting for five months. Jealous C*** decides she's pissed, and rightfully she should be, after all, she lost what she desperately wanted, and then we get it. I'm fine with that, she's hurting from her loss, she has a right to be sad over this turn of events.

But then Jealous C*** decides that my wife is no longer her friend. And this is where she earned the nickname with gusto. She went as far as to tell her that she can't support her friend, in a time of great celebration, because of her loss. And that she should have used birth control after she lost her baby. And she told my wife to leave her alone and have a nice life.

This makes me want to say f*** the bills, and go out there and smack her f*ckin face off! You don't do that to a friend! It hurt us to find out you were pregnant as well you c***. So don't ****ing tell me that you have the self-righteous attitude to tell who can get pregnant when.

I'm seriously hoping she just will FOAD at this moment. She's dead to me. They may smooth things over in the future. But she's dead to me. And if I see her in public, I'll call her out for the jealous c*** she is.

If I'm wrong in this, I call bulls***!

first - congratulation!! i'm so happy for ya'll!!
second - how sad for the JC. keep in mind though that she may still be on a hormonal roller coaster which is causing her to be totally not herself. i can say this with conviction as i've been there. i miscarried many years ago when my friend was pregnant too. in fact, another friend was also pregnant and she miscarried as well leaving L the only one still carrying her baby. i can honestly tell you i NEVER ONCE wished it had been her rather than me but i had to end the friendship because i really wanted my baby and she didn't. she kept doing coke and pot and drinking and hoping she'd lose her baby while i was mourning the loss of mine. i'm aware ya'll want this baby badly and this isn't the situation with you but i do have to mention that hormonal issues may be causing JC to behave this way. after ethan was born, i turned into a total bitch and had no idea why. turns out, it was my hormones returning to normal compounded by post partum depression. give JC some time to work through her loss. i'm very sorry ya'll's joy has been dampened by this but maybe time will heal all and feel free to rant and rave here as needed. we'll listen.
keep us posted on baby tallic too!

Its so sad when you have such great news and she is going through such grief. I cannot imagine how this has hurt your wife. I believe you have every right to feel the way you do and I would not try to take that away from you.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my best friend was pregnant and lost her baby at 39 weeks. It put us in such a "weird" place with them. My heart just broke for them and yet we had such a joy brought into our lives. Not only that but we had another friend who lost their child. Its just such a tragic thing for someone to deal with. And everyone reacts differently to grief no doubt.

Your wife's exfriend is probably still grieving and while her words are unacceptable I'm willing to bet she never meant to be hateful. It may just be to painful for her to bare to have a friend whose pregnant right now.

I'm happy for you and I hope you two feel better soon.

I can totally understand the hormone issue, my wife was a basket case for about 6 weeks after our daughter was born. But to be that harsh towards a friend. I can understand being distant. But thats a little extreme. I at least hope she can put this behind her and stop being JC, because that is unfair to put that kind of stigma on a child who isn't even born yet! That JC is the reason she never comes over. My first is asking about her and if she'll be coming over. She told me that JC needed a big hug when she comes back. Cuteness abounds in that one.

Just my 2-cents worth - it is my understanding that some women can be real bee-yotches sometimes. My male friend "M" is convinced that I must a) have a lot of testosterone flowin' in my body and b) have a...er..."stick-shift", if you will - "M" says that I am not the typical "girl" - i.e., I won't call him every 10 minutes while he's out riding his bike, and then get furious with him because he didn't call me RIGHT back. In other words, I don't go "puh-sycho" on him. (However, he does know to be careful around me - I may not be a bee-yotch, but I do like busting, er --- certain round bouncy-thingies!)...

And strangely enough - on this point, I do agree with "M". I have seen some women and crap they pull - and it makes me embarrassed to have "ta-tas"!

I am sorry that you and your wife have to deal with this sort of BS during what should be a very exciting and happy time for you! But the fact is - this woman is going thru heck right now. She probably isn't thinking very clearly, and is probably very "self-absorbed" right now (internalizing her loss). She cannot understand that you are grieving with her; she only feels the emptiness inside of herself. And she's wallowing in that emptiness (everyone deals with grief differently...).

I had two friends (from GRADE school), and both became pregnant about the same time. One lost her baby (early in the pregnancy), and the other was fine. After the miscarriage, these two seemed to have a strained relationship...and it all became crystal clear during a night out. They got into a MASSIVE screaming match in the middle of a parking lot (which started when the "mis-carrier" accused the still-pregnant one was spreading rumors about her, especially why she'd miscarried!) - the one who miscarried actually said she felt that if the still-pregnant one were really her friend, she'd have an abortion so they could start their families together. It's now 10+ years later, and these two ladies at least talk to each other now. (The mis-carrier did have a child the following year - the kids now play on the same little league team...and they're good friends!)

I can appreciate your feelings, too - this woman hurt your wife, and as a male, there's a "need" to protect your wife from hurt. You're not wrong...maybe a touch "misguided" But then again, men are always wrong, correct?

ps - i have to note that the friend i mentioned above and i are dear friends again. after many years of estrangement, i started having dreams about her and thinking about her constantly. i called her mom and she told me L had become a completely different person with the birth of her son. she quit doing drugs and was totally devoted to her child. i called L and we just picked up where we left off. i feel so badly she went through her pregnancy alone and she struggled like hell as a single mom but a) she was pulling me down to the depths of her hell and b) the life lessons she learned were invaluable.
i know this thread isn't about my experience but i just had to note my friend did come around and has become a beautiful soul and a wonderful mother.