Well, I have sat down a couple of times to write this, and just didn't know how.



I have been in Alabama the past couple of weeks, just got back last week. My grandfather fell about a month or so ago, and cut his left foot up pretty bad. It got infected, and my took him to the doctor's, and they put him on some meds. Well, it was too late, becasue it developed into gangrene. He has dementia, and parkinson's. So it is hard for him to remember to keep clean, plus with the shaking, it's just hard. The doctors' ended up having to amputate his left leg to above the knee. Between all he is going thru and the trama of this, he has taken a major turn for the worse. He is very combative, and seems to be stuck in the late 70's. After I got home, mom called. The doctors' had found out granpa has colon cancer, and it is in stage 4. there is nothing they can do, because he has a living will that prohibits it. he is under hospice care, but is in the behavriol (sp?) unit at the hospital, because he is violent now. I can't go back down, we just don't have the money. Mom says she doesn't want me to see him now, anyway, because he has changed so much since i left, anyways. So, now I sit here, waiting for the worse.



Please, say a prayer for him and my mom. He is ready to be with grandma, has been for the past 4 years. Mom and I are selfish, we don't want him to go, but we know he will be better off. This grandpa has been more like a father to me, and I spent summers with him until I left home. he is such a big reason I am who I am.



wolfquilter

That's so terrible. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts .

I'm sorry to hear about that. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts.

I want to sent my thoughts and prayers to your family.

i'm sorry to hear that.


Sending Positive Energy and Healing Vibes ya's way.



ya are in my thoughts and prayers.

You all will be in my thoughts. Hope things will take the easiest course possible.

So sorry to hear about your grandpa. I wouldn't exactly call it "selfish" to not want to let him go. Anything/anyone you cherish, you WANT to hold on to.

The "know(ing) he will be better off" --- that is the comfort you will need later. But it is not selfish to want to hold onto him.

Your mother has the right idea, about not wanting you to see him at this point. My father suffered from an aortic aneurysm that burst. I was 14 at the time, and my mother would not let me go to the hospital. At the time, I was FURIOUS (about that, and some other issues that raised up at that time - she and I did not get along that well to begin with!). But after years of reflection, I've come to understand why she did that. Her memories of my father were tainted with him hooked up to all sorts of machines and such. My memories? Fishing trips at a private lake (including a bacon and eggs breakfast cooked on his little hibatchi - man, you've never had bacon and eggs till you've had 'em outdoors!). Crabbing in the Hudson River all night long. Flying kites in an open field. Nothing but very happy memories, and nothing to overshadow them. Had she allowed me to go see him, my memories would be tainted, too...of seeing this strong, proud man (the picture of health up until the aneurysm burst, despite being obese and a heavy smoker!), laying helpless in a hospital bed.

Hold onto him (even if at a distance) as long as you can, let him go when the time comes - understand that he will be in a better place. And cherish the memories --- he will never "die" as long as you hold him in your heart. He will only be a whisper away from you.

I posted in the open forum, but not here, that grandpa passed away on the 12th. The funeral is July 2, at Arlington national Cemetary. So, making plans, and a budget, for that. plus, we may stay for the 4th, because, honestly, i want the girls to have a happy memory about the trip, too. And D.C. was a place i went a couple of times with my gandfather. So, I'll be kinda passing on that to my girls.

Thanks for everything!

wolfquilter