I know, mostly you're all used to me being a bit of a goof-off, not taking much of anything seriously...but even the jolliest of us can get a bit overwhelmed at times. And such is the case...
It's been a tough couple of weeks for me. I feel somewhat foolish, because it's not like I have any REAL problems. Just a bunch o'sheet building up, overwhelming me, and I have no where left to turn with it...just basically need to vent.
Last week, my Uncle Vinny was diagnosed with cancer in his liver. Nothing they can do about it; we're looking at a 4-6 month window. Back in March, he was operated on for pancreatic cancer (discovered in February, when his doctor suspected he had gallstones!). At that time, the doctors removed the tumor, and biopsied various other organs/lymph nodes/surrounding area, and everything was clear. For the sake of precaution, the doctors required him to undergo a limited run of chemo & radiation. Evidently, that didn't work...
Last night, my uncle in New Jersey (not Vinny) calls me up. He's going thru some stuff right now - most notably, he's been out of work for 10 months (not for lack of trying - he goes on at least 3 interviews a week and is submitting applications/resumes constantly), his unemployment had ended and he applied for welfare. Now that unemployment benefits have been extended, he applied for that - stopping welfare. So far, the unemployment has NOT started back up, and in trying to call and ask what's going on, he can't get through. He's been carrying his health coverage thru COBRA, and unbeknownst to him, his former employer changed coverage. NOW he has to meet a $1500 deductible before he's covered. I've got him, literally crying on the phone to me - talking about "giving up"... (I texted his daughter last night - she was with her mother, but should be with him tonight - I told her to give him a call because he sounded "blue"...thought that might give him a little hope...)
And of course, work sucks. I can type that NOW because I'm at home (as opposed to sitting at my desk doing this...). For the last couple of years, I've had supervisors who just seem to want to lean on me. If I want to take a day off, I would get SUCH grief over it. Yet, there was another employee - wouldn't even bother to call in if she wasn't coming in! People would be trying to find her, and everybody FIGURED she was there - but she was just forwarding "official messages" from home. She consistently comes in late, and always leaves early. The only reason she got caught is that her subordinate was keeping silent track of it (as she called the union in on several occasions because of unfair treatment she received...). At my last evaluation (yet another "fair" rating - not "successful"), my supervisor told me that I was being placed under the admin supervisor (a civilian woman), partly because I needed "extra supervision". Load of bull - under this new "system" they are implementing, this woman needs to supervise 2 employees, and was only over one. Now, this lady had been my supervisor years ago, when I first started in the department. GREAT, I thought. Wait a second...now that we're getting into it, she basically wants me to change everything I'm doing, wants me to do all the things SHE'S been doing over the years, and she's being just as hard-arsed over me leaving. Two Fridays ago, my carpool driver called and said she was leaving early (a whopping 10 minutes early). I gathered up my stuff and told everyone that I had to go. This woman's response? "Well, you just have to tell them that you work until 4:30!" No mention of the fact that I'm usually at work at least 30 minutes early almost every day, and normally do work until 4:30. And SHE consistently comes in at least 10-15 minutes late every day, because HER carpool driver runs a little late (but he's a big-wig, so he can do that!).
My mother was the oldest child, and felt a responsibility to take care of everyone. When sheet would happen, they'd call her, and she'd figure out something to do. Of course, she would talk with me - I was her sounding board. I was her "vent". Unfortunately, that job has fallen to me now, and I don't have my mother to talk to.
Ah...I hate to be taking up all this space, just "complaining"... But this sort of stuff has been going on for the last few years. Ironically, since the time my now ex-Aunt told my uncle in Jersey that she was a witch! I am serious about that - but I don't know whether to believe her or not. She's the type of person who would say something just to try to intimidate him or scare him. And realize - we're Irish Catholic (as Catholics are not supposed to believe in spells and curses and the like, only prayer; Irish Catholics know better! My mother was born on Halloween, and I swear to -insert deity of your choice!- she had some sort of "gift" or something...I learned not to mess with her VERY early on!). In the family, it's just been one thing after another - never a moment to just "chill" and enjoy life. In at least the last 5 years, the only bit of "relaxation" I've had was seeing Sully at the Borgata! (I'm not saying that to be a suck-up, either! It was a 4 hr drive one-way for me, and I drove home after the show...for the entire day, I didn't have time or energy to think about any of the bullsheet going on in my life!) Sometimes, though, I do have to wonder if that beeyotch did put some sort of curse on us (and if there's anything I can do to break it! As a family, we'd looked up/researched old wives tales about curse-breaking, and I don't know where, but someone said that we had to put salt in our pee; now, my poor mother was in the hospital at the time, and she was on a low-sodium diet. She kept asking the nurses for salt, and when they told her that she couldn't have it, she'd explain, "I don't need it for my food - I have to put it in my pee!" I'm surprised the guys in the white coats with the jackets with buckles on the arms didn't come for her...
).
I have not lost sight of the blessings I do have in my life. I do thank God for my family - screwed up as we might be. I know that if my back's against the wall, they'll be there to break it down. I thank God that I do have a sense of humor - dark as it might be! That's probably the one thing keeping me from jumping off a bridge. I thank God for my Tessy-girl; no matter what's going on, I can count on her to give me a little rub and purr action... And I thank God that I've found you guys here - yer a bunch o'nuts, but the good kind! Thanks!
Sending positive vibes your way. 
Am feeling better...
). But, she's a good kitty - I think I'll keep 'er. (As if there were any doubt...)